donatella_moss (donatella_moss) wrote,

first shot at it...

Title: Rock the Vote 2005
Rating: PG
Spoilers: None if you watched this season.

The crowd was massive. The fire marshal would not be pleased if he came into the club. Rock the Vote always gathered a crowd. Josh searched the room; he knew she’d be there because Bingo Bob was there, somewhere.

“I would swallow my pride I would choke on the rhines But the lack thereof would leave me empty inside”

She was up on the balcony with Will, laughing with Will. He clenched and unclenched his fists. He couldn’t stand that geek, and how he stole Donna away from him. HIS Donna. He had to do something about this. It burned so bad the way Will was looking at her. How DARE HE? Sure Josh had teased and flirted with Donna when she was his assistant, but he didn’t go any further no matter how much he wanted to. She was too good for the boss, employee scandal of a relationship. He had to do something, but he couldn’t. She was happy. She was never happy when she was around Josh anymore. And that’s all that mattered. He turned around to search for a bar.

“Want to put my tender heart it in a blender Watch it spin round to a beautiful oblivion Rendezvous then I'm through with you”
He had finished three beers when the second act came on, Kelly Clarkson. As if it wasn’t hard enough wallowing with the love songs, he heard a voice next to him.

“Donnatella. And how are you on this lovely evening? I saw you and Will enjoying yourself earlier.” He didn’t even try hiding the bitterness in his voice.

“You know you shouldn’t be drinking this much with your sensitive system. You’re going to regret this in the morning.”

He looked her straight in the eyes. “But I’ll have deserved it, so it all works out in the end.”

“You what?” She looked genuinely shocked and concerned.

“You know what I mean.”

“I hate myself for losing you I'm seeing it all so clear I hate myself for losing you What do you do when you look in the mirror And staring at you is why he's not here?”

He grabbed her hand. “And Kelly sums it all up. And all I have to say is I’m sorry I’m just another gomer in your life, and I’ll leave you alone and let you be happy. And if you’ll excuse me…I think my sensitive system will be making an appearance tonight in the shape of vomit.” He kissed her on her forehead, and turned and walked away. She just stood there with confusion and shock all over her face.
“I though you were going to get beers?”

Donna jumped. She hadn’t heard Will approach. “Sorry. I-I just. Um. I just was talking to Josh.”

Will didn’t seem to notice her discomfort. “Has he admitted defeat yet? He has to have figured out that we’re kicking his ass out there.”

Donna grabbed a piece of her hair. “Um…not in so many words. Will I’ve gotta go.”

Will looked quite confused. “Are you ok? I mean, he didn’t say anything to hurt you did he?”

“No…I just gotta go.”

“Make a wish. Make a change. And Breakaway.”
He didn’t know how he made it out back; all he knew was that he was puking in the garbage can. When he was done he leaned up against the nearest wall. He thought of Donna and how he screwed it up. How he had never told her how much he loved her. How he had used her when she should’ve been off working better jobs, away from him. How he had sent her to die in Gaza. He leaned over the garbage can for another round of sickness.

All of a sudden he felt someone stroke his hair back. ”You really need to learn not to drink too much.”

“You don’t need to be here Donna. Go back inside and have a good time.”

“Nope. Let’s go get you cleaned up, and I’ll take you home.”

“Donna, I’m serious.”

“C’mon.” She put his arm around her shoulders as she led him inside.

After she led him into the bathroom to wash his face, and about a zillion assurances that he was ok, she followed him as he told the Congressman that he needed to go home. She then hailed a cab, and gave the driver directions. In no time they had made it to Josh’s apartment.

“You don’t have to tuck me into bed. I swear, I’m a big boy now.”

“Just keep thinking that. Besides we need to have a talk about that outburst you had at the club.”

“Damn that sensitive system.”

“Upstairs mister. And change out of those clothes…you reek.”

“Fine. Fine.” He left to go into the bedroom to find some sweatpants, and probably an old Harvard sweatshirt.

“So, I’m changed and as sober as I’m going to be tonight. Let’s get this over with.”

“Well wasn’t that enthusiastic.” She shifted on the couch to face him. “I didn’t leave you Josh. I left the job.”

He looked down at the carpet. “But you did leave me. This is the first time in months that you’ve even talked to me.”

“That’s not true…”

He turned his face to hers. “Yes it is. And you know it. I just…I know it’s my fault, and it’s too late, but…I didn’t mean to make everything so wrong. I know now that I should’ve told you since the day we met. I should’ve told you everyday…just how much you meant to me. And I know you’re better off somewhere else, because…” His eyes filled up with tears that had been inside him for a while, and they just kept flowing. “I almost got you killed Donna! I sent you there and you got blown up! I didn’t mean it, but it always happens and it’s all my fault! Everyone I love just seems to get hurt or die.”
She put her arms around him. It never ceased to amaze her how fragile he could be. How much responsibility he had for everyone.

“Josh, it wasn’t your fault.”

“Of course it was.”

“No it wasn’t. Unless you have a connection to Hamas I don’t know about.”
His arms got tighter around her. “But I sent you there.”

“There’s no way you could’ve known this was going to happen to me.” She pulled away and looked him straight in the eyes. ”Did you mean what you said? About loving me?”

“You didn’t know?” He looked confused.

“Just checking.” She put her lips on his, and fireworks went off inside her.
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